We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Tuesday Project Roundup...

...for some physical activity. My traveling companion and I hiked up to the tram at Snowbird, like I had done last year with my father. I remember last year being easier, but this was still excellent.

Someone marveled at the age of the canteen:
Someone else was too tired to look into the camera at the top:
And someone at Snowbird really should have put this sign at the BOTTOM of the trail:
And alphorns make anything better:

Friday Unrelated Information

1. Storm sewer spleunking. It happens. It sounds cool. The accompanying photographs are gorgeous.

2. I'll be enjoying a long weekend not camping, because the rest of the state beat me to the campgrounds.

3. The Nigel Slater cookbook had to go back to the library yesterday. I'm suffering from Nigel withdrawal.

4. I've been meaning to start my next knitting project, but haven't had a chance to just sit and work out the math (knitting involves lots of math! I was never warned!)

5. My next project will not, however, be a tree sweater.

State Fair

No, not the movie--although it would be seasonally appropriate to watch it right now, just like Picnic--but the actual event. I'm entering the happy dress and the vortex of craft top and I'm tempted to tell the ladies who take your entry that both my projects are named.

Woody, Cooper, And Mimi

Your cute alpacas for the day.

Tuesday Project Roundup: Meanwhile, Back At The Ranch Edition

This is the bottom half of the vintage dress with no instructions that obviously did not work out as a dress. It makes a pretty dashing skirt, though; the plaid and the big pockets make me think it would be something the boss lady would change into if she got her dress dirty rounding up the cows.
In other sewing news, my new favorite tool is the rotary cutter
which means I can roll-cut on a mat at counter height rather than kneel on the floor with scissors. If you put a pinking blade on said cutter you don't have to worry about finishing any raw edges, either.Although if you drop the pinking blade on your foot you get a zig-zag shaped cut. I speak from experience.

What Wallace Thinks Of It

Last night I was trying to find the attribution for a Wallace Stevens quote ("God is in me or else is not at all," quoted in The Little Zen Companion) (oh yes, I succumbed to the mid-90's trend for miniature inspirational books)(and just don't ask why I was reading The Little Zen Companion again)--anyway, I looked up the attribution for that quote and found this quotes from his letters, as well.

They talk so beautifully about work and having a family and a home (and I do, too, sometimes) — but it’s all worry and head-aches and respectable poverty and forced gushing.... Telling people how nice it is, when, in reality, you would give all of your last thirty years for one of your first thirty. Old people are tremendous frauds.

So much for encouragement and inspiration! Where's my mini book...

Friday Unrelated Information

1. Have you ever thought, "It just takes too long to cut out all those newspaper letters for my ransom note?" Then you'll be delighted to hear about the ransom note generator, with choice of white or yellow paper background.

2. Similarly, are you stuck coming up with a title for your literary work? Go to the title generator!(Warning: seizure-inducing website. But still fun! Seizures are fun!)

3. What your food cravings really mean. I don't know if this is really based on science, but it temporarily made me want to eat better.

4. Also, take your vitamins this weekend.

Better Living Through Nursery Rhymes. Also: Pumpkins.

Yesterday a request for someone to recite a poem came up, and I was the kid saying “Pick me! Pick me!”—until I realized the only thing I have memorized in its entirety is “The Owl and the Pussycat.” (I do have big pieces of a lot of real poems, but it just spoils a dramatic recitation to fill in the gaps with “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…something, something…”) So much for being so literary.

But why devote your life to memorizing poems when you can do THIS: www.extremepumpkins.com. You kind of know what you’re getting with a URL like that, but I was still surprised. Especially by the one that uses kerosene-soaked toilet paper.

He's Old! (Officially)

My dad turns 60 today, after another year of building furniture, making model ships, raising barns (no, really), remodeling bathrooms, reading books, putting in fences, helping with moves, wearing Hawaiian shirts, and overall continuing to be tough and handy, all while singing songs from the Golden Age of Broadway. And Dad, I hope you know I'm planning on writing one of these for the next twenty years, so keep it up.

Tuesday Project Roundup: Invisible Project Edition

Look, invisible project!

Also:

Monday Unrelated Information

I missed a post on Friday, so here's some things to think about this morning:

1. My friend's wedding dress pwned the County Fair

2. Watching "Picnic" with a gay man who's been prescribed Percoset is mighty entertaining.

3. Remember my favorite Robert Hass poem, "Meditation at Lagunitas," which ends "There are moments when the body is as/ numinous as words, days that are the good flesh continuing./ Such tenderness, those afternoons and evenings,/ saying blackberry, blackberry, blackberry."? I had that sort of day on Saturday, and while there was Betos instead of actual blackberries, it was really close to perfect.

4. Another baby at Blue Moon Ranch--Hamilton! (He's the grey one.)

Introducing Captain Morgan

Captain Morgan the alpaca! (That's really his name.)
Cap'n Morgan be livin at Blue Moon Ranch until he finds himeslf a crew, arrr!

It’s 100 Degrees. Guess What I Want To Make Next?

1. Bulky wool cardigan

2. Flannel skirt

3. Wool jacket

4. Slippers

Yeah. Wasn’t the heat supposed to be over?

Tuesday Project Roundup: It Looks Like I Feel Edition

A little disconnected, maybe?

Although this is pretty easily fixed with a seam, a zipper, a hem, and three buttons. Then I'll look like the boss lady on a ranch, and then I can keep track of everything. Including the cows in the north forty.

Nigel!

Two weeks ago I wandered into Sam Weller's and checked out the cookbooks, where I discovered Nigel Slater's The Kitchen Diaries, and discovered that Nigel is fantastic!

Nigel's recipes are delicious, Nigel's photographer is excellent (check out the site for an idea), Nigel's life sounds interesting in diary form, and Nigel's prose is delightful. Also, he's named Nigel. Really, what's not to like about him?

I like that there's a diary entry titled, "An altogether different ham." I like that he goes to the Chinese market and says, "Today I brought a duck home with me. I mean a dead one rather than one as a pet." I like that he directs one to fold in egg whites "firmly yet tenderly." I like his recipe for roast tomatoes, and the fact that he's named Nigel.

In fact, I'm so inspired I had to photograph the produce I got at the People's Market a la Nigel.(The tomatoes are going to be a Nigel recipe, and maybe the peaches, too.)

I'm sure Nigel would approve.

Friday Unrelated Information

1. My brother and sister-in-law celebrate FIVE YEARS of marriage this weekend. That's a long time--just ask them! (Ha!)

2. Quote of the week: "You say 'interpretive hippie dancing' like it's a bad thing."

3. Remember, you have this weekend to enter your sewing projects in the fair. And yes, there is a category for "everyday dress" and for "fancy party dress."

Another Cat-Themed Graphic Cop Out

You’re a kitty! Yes you are!

LOLCat Cop Out

LOLZ.

Tuesday Project Roundup: Let's Take Pictures Of Fabric Instead Of Actually Sewing It Edition

I've slowed down a little over the past two weeks, which, combined with the beginning of August and the realization that fall is five weeks away, is making me feel anxious.

I have patterns I want to make:
I have fabric with which to make them: (Can you tell I'm planning on yellow shoes for fall?)

I even have fabric cut out and ready to be sewn:
But lately there's been something else (farmers markets, Nigel Slater cookbooks, mindless fashion magazines that I read, thinking, "I could make that") that I'd rather do. I thought a sewing machine at home was supposed to make me more productive.

Flowers!

Look, I have some:
I have some flowers.

Friday Unrelated Information

1.. It’s getting to be county fair/derby season: Tooele’s is this weekend, Weber County’s is next weekend, and if you want to enter a baked good, sewing project, or wedding dress in the Salt Lake County Fair, you’d better have it ready on August 11 or 12. Then you can go see if you won a ribbon and watch the mayhem in the derby arena! Also, you can look at the fancy chickens. I love fancy chickens.

2. Here’s a link on how to predict the weather by observing the natural environment.

3. J. Crew, I don’t have your damn DVD.

4. How to tell if you’re a drunk astronaut:

J. Crew, I Am Over You

So I used to live and breathe J. Crew. Back in the days before the innernet, I'd devour the catalog and irritate my mother by falling in love with a sweater, without which future happiness was impossible. Then I got a job, and started buying my own J. Crew. J. Crew got a website! J. Crew stores came into Utah! I got a J. Crew credit card! I worked for J. Crew for about two months, where I spent about twice what I earned! You get the picture.

But now I can't look at a J. Crew catalog without wanting to fling it across the room, usually followed by some expletives. J. Crew, what went wrong between us? How did it get so bad? Is it because you are SO EXPENSIVE? Consider this dress, made of cotton corduroy:It's $120. I could make it for $12.

And while price is a big part of it, J. Crew, I started to realize something was wrong between us even before I became the cheapest woman in the world. I blame your prose style. There never used to be any copy in the catalog, other than the fiber content and the color name. Now, there are condescending "Did You Know" sections ("The secret is too good to keep to ourselves...so we're letting you in on what you might (or might not) already know") [note: what?] and useless bits like this: "Our head designer loves this design so much, we named it after her." J. Crew, I hate to say this, but I don't care.

So J. Crew, I'm afraid we're over. Even the shoes, J. Crew--even the shoes aren't quite what they used to be. I know this is hard, but it's better this way. For me.

(Now all I need to do is figure how to remove the link to J. Crew in the right nav here. I can't very break up with J. Crew and keep promoting it.)

Trial Marriages and Neopaganism

Today is August first, which I learned last year was Lughnasadh, a celebration marking the beginning of the end of summer. (Love those Druidic holidays.) And while I won't be doing anything Wiccan to celebrate, I do like to share:

Lughnasadh marked the beginning of the harvest season, the ripening of first fruits, and was traditionally a time of community gatherings, market festivals, horse races and reunions with distant family and friends. Among the Irish it was a favored time for handfastings - trial marriages that would generally last a year and a day, with the option of ending the contract before the new year, or later formalizing it as a more permanent marriage

Tuesday Project Roundup: Street People Appreciation Edition

I thought my crafty production rates would go up after I got my sewing machine last week, but they really just shifted: Instead of making a dress over the weekend, I made one during the week. This is fabric a friend in Hawaii sent me for no reason. (More people should send fabric for no reason. It's fantastic.)
But with my production rates so high for so long, people at work have just given up asking, "Oh, what a nice dress. Did you make it?" But to make up for it, people on the street have started shouting, "I like your dress!" or "What a nice summer dress!" as I walk to the library or the Gallivan Center. At least wearing a dress prompts polite comments.

Guess The Photo Monday

Where was this picture taken? Canyonlands? Somewhere in the Mexican desert? No—Mars.

Somebody found the NASA site while idly reading about drunken astronauts. Science is cool!

Friday Unrelated Information

1. Martha Stewart has an interview in Wired magazine, in which she blames the Walkman for the end of her marriage. (And also makes some good points about creativity.)

2. My morning glory is blooming—I’ll have to get up early enough to get a picture this weekend. And a hummingbird was checking it out this morning!

3. For all the science-fiction lovers, here’s a Dune lolcat picture:

I Love The British So Much

Yesterday I read a New York Times article about the flooding in Southern Britain, with the story of John Burrow, an old chap who had to be evacuated:

As for Mr. Burrow, he said the worst part of being flooded was the struggle to evacuate his cats, one of whom jumped into the water in fear. Finally, he corralled them into cat boxes provided by the fire department and, led by several firefighters, he waded through the river that had been the road, being careful not to fall into a manhole after their covers had been ripped off by the force of the water.

"I wasn't scared, as long as I could wade along the road," he said. "And the war was worse."

The war was worse. What understatement. Carry on, sir!

Now I Can Really Be A Sweatshop

Because now I have a sewing machine!And I have a fan. (Sweatshops get hot.)

I took over my mother's oldest sewing machine about two years ago, but it conked out when I moved this spring. This weekend it got a tuneup and I got a cabinet for it, so now it can sit out all the time, just begging for projects. Think of what I can accomplish! I'll be unstoppable! I might laugh like an evil villain now!

Tuesday Project Roundup: Happy Edition

So when a large part of your happiness comes from controlling your reality by way of fabric, as I explained Friday, it can be more upsetting than normal when a project doesn't work out. Like the plaid dress with the vintage, instruction-less pattern last weekend. It didn't work. I was unhappy.

But I needed a project to give me meaning and purpose and a sense of fulfillment, and lo! ask for a project and ye shall receive your friends' mothers vintage pattern stash. And ask for a fabric for said pattern and ye shall find it on sale. So I had a happy time making a happy accident dress:It's also something of a "happy eyesore," to use a phrase from the Dress a Day blog lady, but I like eyesores ("what? I can't hear you over this print!").

Something To Do Today

BoingBoing, source of all my interesting news, posted a link today to a site where a very clever person had re-imagined famous poems as limericks. Nothing makes me happier than corny literary tricks! Maybe I’ll write my own today!

(Also try Twitterku, which are haikus made up of random lines from Twitter. Good times!)

"Habe Studia Otii Et Vide Quid Fiat."

Remember the title from last October? I wanted a Latin translation of my motto, "Have hobbies and see what happens," which I love fo rbeing so apt. In fact, something happened yesterday to reinforce my motto:

I was driving in town and saw a dog poking its head out of a car window. I like dogs, and this dog was big and black and shaggy and obviously very excited about getting to poke its head out of the window. So I smiled and looked at the dog as I sped up, and glanced over to see what type of person would own a dog like that, and I saw an old boyfriend, one of the two people I've loved, and I just thought, "Goddammit, why are you driving around in a new car with a dog I don't even know about, if I loved you once? Why didn't that turn out differently?" [Commenters: just don't.]

As long as I'm talking about my old loves, what about the second of the two, the one who showed up on my doorstep last August with a Ravel CD, the one whom I hadn't seen in five years, whose appearance I thought heralded newfound happiness and a bright future and lots of Ravel? The times we would have! But no. (I do still have the CD.)

But before I start sounding too crazy-bitter, I'd better get to the larger point, which is this: Very often, people do not do what you want them to do. They do not buy big black dogs with you. They do not decide to move in with you and have a life together full of chamber music. They do what they want to do, and if that involves dogs or Schubert with someone else, there is not a thing you can do about it.

That is what makes hobbies so fantastic. The yarn or the fabric I work with does not have a choice. I can make it do what I want. In the craft world, things are exactly how I want them to be. It's a great feeling--sort of a metaphysical "Take that!" to a universe that won't accommodate me.

So yes. Some Latin, some of my uncomfortable personal history, and another reason I like my hobbies. (And if I end up knitting myself a dog and a family in the next ten years, well--I guess this was the first warning.)

Happy Friday!

Early Unrelated Information

I have tomorrow off, which makes today feel like Friday. So here’s some early unrelated information!

1. I will be struggling with the vintage dress pattern tomorrow (and I will win, by god). The fabric is a bright plaid, and while spending THREE HOURS on the bodice last week I had some time to wonder about the origins of the word “plaid.” The first recorded usage was in1512, from the Gaelic plaide "blanket, mantle," of unknown origin, perhaps a contraction of peallaid "sheepskin," from peall "skin," from Latin pellis (but OED finds this "phonetically improbable"). (Unrelated note: I need more opportunities to use “phonetically improbable” in everyday conversation.)

2. Have you ever wanted to see where your cat goes when he has his adventures? Order him a CatCam and find out! Or just see photos from a day in the life of a cat named Mr. Lee.

3. If you ever need to ask a French person is he or she made something themselves, this is how: Avez-vous fait cela vous-meme?

Remember These?!

There was a post on BoingBoing last week about scary monsters from Sesame Street, and guess who were listed? Those Martian things that said “yip yip yip, uh-huh, uh-huh”! They absolutely terrified me, especially in the episode where they discovered the telephone and mimicked its ringing. The first “Brrrrrrringgg!!!” out of their scary, scary mouths was almost too much.

The post has an awesome quote from someone who was also scared of the Yip Yips: “I found a clip on YouTube and freaked myself out a little. When the phone rang and their lips flew up above their head, I thought about cowering behind my desk chair for a second."

I’m glad I’m not the only one.

Tuesday Project Roundup: There Is No Project Roundup

No, I didn't finish a project over the weekend. I've discovered vintage patterns but was sadly surprised by how...laconic the instructions are. (If by "instructions," you mean a step consisting of a picture showing a fabric configuration that has no relationship whatsoever with the fabric you're holding in your hands, of course. Not that I was frustrated.)

But there's nothing a little seam binding can't gloss over, so in the spirit of this post's title, here's the Magritte picture of a pipe announcing, "This is not a pipe."

(He's right, you know--it's a painting of a pipe. Oh, those tricky French intellectual painters!)

A Scary Story, Plus Acceptance

If you couldn't tell from my jokes about curing cancer with the same amount of effort, I have felt a little guilty about the time and energy I've spent sewing. (Knitting, somehow, gets an exception. Knitting is magic and like therapy; therefore, I should probably spend MORE time doing it. I don't feel guilty about knitting.) People I know play music, are lawyers for the environment, grow gardens, start families, etc. I spend a lot of time making pretty things to wear.

I started sewing at my current rate about February of this year, which is when the Great Financial Turnaround of 2007 began. I gave up credit cards and was left with cash, which didn't buy what I was used to buying. But cash could buy fabric. Fast forward to today: I'm now the conductor on the Debt Reduction Train and have become the cheapest person I know, announcing when I can find fabric for $2 a yard or get 12 rolls of toilet paper for $5 (at Target this week! Use a coupon!).

Here's the scary part: Being the Mayor of Get Out of Debt City, I was paying my bills last night and had to look up some old statements. I found one from last year---June 2006--and first I thought, "Oh, the good times when I had credit cards...I remember those times...I loved those times...let's see what I bought last June..oh...oh.......oh sweet baby Jesus, how much did I spend in June alone?!" And then I tipped over. And then I hid the statement. It was that scary.

Anyway, my point is that since I have lots of time on my hands (and a deep-seated belief that happiness is just another new item away) (yes, I know; that's an issue for another day), I am so glad I can sew and spend so much time doing it. Because otherwise, I'd be hitting the mean streets of Anthropologie and online shoe stores. And that can get ugly.

Friday Unrelated Cultural Informaition

1. Tomorrow is Bastille Day.

2. The French don't like their president jogging.

3. Watch out:

Weather!

Last night there was something different from the month of sun and sky we’ve had: wind and clouds! And even some rain! Like just about every other thing, weather makes me think of poetry, and I thought of what Pablo Neruda had to say about it:

Suddenly the wind howls and bangs at my shut window.
The sky is a net crammed with shadowy fish.
Here all the winds let go sooner or later, all of them.
The rain takes off her clothes.

The birds go by, fleeing.
The wind. The wind.
I can contend only against the power of men.
The storm whirls dark leaves
and turns loose all the boats that were moored last night to the sky.

(From “Every Day You Play,” complete text here. [Warning: terrifying web design.] It’s really a love poem, so if you’re not in love it may make you sad and bitter. Hey, I’m just saying—)

Growing (Plants, Not Business)

My patio garden is hitting its stride and I couldn't be more tickled. All I do is keep the pots watered, and look what happens:To quote my sister-in-law, "It's working!" And to quote M.F.K. Fisher: "They did as they were meant to, which is one of the most satisfying things that can happen to a gardener."

Tuesday Project Roundup: Cheap Edition

This is the time of year for end-of-season sales at the fabric store, which means that if you find pattern on sale, too, you can make a dress for $10. Including the zipper. That's what I did with this one, made from the Venice fabric. I wore it to the yarn store at lunch yesterday, which was full of knitting ladies, and one of them said, "That dress looks just like Audrey Hepburn." (I think she meant the dress looked like something Audrey would wear. I took it as a compliment.)

The internet is also a good source for cheap fabric, and if you don't mind ordering from a place called "Fashion Fabrics Club," you can get heavy Italian linen in a purple plaid for about $15: Notice the neckline? I was really thrifty and used the same pattern as the Venice dress and just changed the skirt. And notice the pleats under the waistline? Gut pleats. Brilliant. I may never wear pants again.

The one disadvantage to dresses is that 99% of them close in the back. And while I've gotten good at zipping myself up, the hook and eye at the top of the zipper--that hits right at the middle of my back on this pattern--had me questioning my decision to live alone this morning. But one must put up with something, I suppose.

11 Things I Did In 5 Days Off

1. Sewed a dress.
2. Sewed another dress.
3. Discovered websites that sell vintage patterns(also called "heroin").
4. Bought three more patterns and some fabric for more sewing.
5. Learned how to dance like a hippy at the Gallivan Center concert.
6. Saw my high school music teacher leading the marching band in the West Jordan July 4th parade.
7. Watched the West Jordan City fireworks.
8. Washed and waxed my car.
9. Went to the Western Stampede demolition derby.10. Washed my car again because it got rained on at the derby.
11. Ate some nachos.Nachos rule!

Friday Unrelated Information

1. The Tour de France starts tomorrow.

2. The Tour de France knitalong starts tomorrow, if you're a knitting blogger and want to enter. (Although I'm really not clear on this concept: How, exactly, does the polka dot King of the Mountains jersey translate to knitting? Does one knit a jersey? Does one knit while climbing a hill? What?)

3. The West Jordan Western Stampede Demolition Derby is tomorrow at 7:00. Hot damn!

4. There's a new cria baby at the alpaca ranch. His name is Zoom Zoom because he's fast!

Business Speak That Must Go

I'm not working for the rest of the week, but that required a lot of slogging through Microsoft promotional materials Monday and Tuesday. Which made me realize that some of the accepted business phraseology is (maybe like a lot of business marketing) incredibly stupid. For example:

"Take it to the next level." What, exactly, does this mean outside of a video game? And do you really want to compare improving your business to Super Mario Brothers?

"Full service." To my knowledge, this only applies to filling stations before about 1970. "Full service" does not accurately describe any sort of services a business may offer, either.

"Grow your business." your business This is the one I hate most. You can increaserevenue; you can expand your business offerings; you can even create more profits. But business is not a plant. You can't grow it.

I just had to vent. I'm going to enjoy not thinking about any sort of business for a few days, and instead think about fabric and demolition derbies.

Tuesday Project Roundup: Be Glad It's Not A Dress Edition

I'm not shy about wearing really loud prints or really big prints, but this fabric made me question myself: It's a print of Mexican loteria cards that I loved online, but that just screamed "fortune teller" in person. But I had ordered enough to make a dress, so I thought I'd better make a dress. I was so relieved when I saw the bodice wasn't working and I could make it into a skirt.

Because it doesn't scream "fortune teller" at all as a skirt. Not at all. (I wore it yesterday and caught someone reading my skirt during a meeting.)

Other things I'm glad are not a dress:
A pillow, finally finished. It's for the living room but it got its picture taken in the kitchen, where the light is better. The back is knitted, but it needs a button, so I'm not showing it off.

Another thing I'm glad isn't a dress-- no, wait, this is going to be a dress:
It will be another big full skirted 50's dress with a square neck, so I can pretend I'm in "Roman Holiday." Except the print is of Venice. Venetian Holiday!

Fashion Quote!

We find our clothes, our clothes find us: they save us from being lost. At home in dress, we enjoy its touch, its crispness, smoothness, softness, texture, its feel on the skin it fits: these pleasures serving the larger pleasure of being at last, or hoping we are, our more glamorous and more potent self. In dressing we enter an inheritance, which may include a new self, which we feel to be a 'true' self, revealed or rather realized by the donning of these good clothes.

From Men in Black by John Harvey (U of Chicago Press, 1996)

I found this on the trusty Dress a Day blog and was struck by the first line. My hobby doesn't just keep me from talking to the houseplants and serve as a substitute for a social life; it's profound, too.