Suddenly, I Want Some Sushi

So in between whining about being sick, coughing fits, and sounding like Marlene Dietrich, I did get some projects finished this week.

I finally have art on the living room walls:
(Not only does my father make furniture; he cuts mats, too.)

It's a Hasui woodblock print:

And I sewed a dress. No pictures of that because it's not ironed yet, but here's the fabric:


Do you think if, wearing my dress, I stood in front of my framed art and clicked my heels three times, I would end up in Kyoto? Maybe I'll try it.

Tired of This

I haven't been feeling well for most of the week. To give you an idea of how bad I feel: I haven't had coffee since Saturday. I just haven't wanted it. I don't want to be sick anymore.

No, I don't want to.

More Literature

For a blog about literature, I think it's funny how I--and I suppose my reader(s)--have a much better time when the posts are about craft projects. I didn't get my usual weekend of sewing in, since Saturday was the Wedding of the Century and Sunday was my mother's birthday. My knitting project has been pretty dull, too: just miles (well, eight inches) of plain stockinette, before I can begin the sleeves. I am hoping to finish a project this week, so there will be pictures soon.

But until then...we have literature.

The Roethke fragment from yesterday ("the stone's eternal pulseless longing") made me think of: "Longing, we way, because desire is full of endless distances," from this by Robert Hass.


Meditation at Lagunitas

    All the new thinking is about loss.
    In this it resembles all the old thinking.
    The idea, for example, that each particular erases
    the luminous clarity of a general idea. That the clown-
    faced woodpecker probing the dead sculpted trunk
    of that black birch is, by his presence,
    some tragic falling off from a first world
    of undivided light. Or the other notion that,
    because there is in this world no one thing
    to which the bramble of blackberry corresponds,
    a word is elegy to what it signifies.
    We talked about it late last night and in the voice
    of my friend, there was a thin wire of grief, a tone
    almost querulous. After a while I understood that,
    talking this way, everything dissolves: justice,
    pine, hair, woman, you and I. There was a woman
    I made love to and I remembered how, holding
    her small shoulders in my hands sometimes,
    I felt a violent wonder at her presence
    like a thirst for salt, for my childhood river
    with its island willows, silly music from the pleasure boat,
    muddy places where we caught the little orange-silver fish
    called pumpkinseed. It hardly had to do with her.
    Longing, we say, because desire is full
    of endless distances. I must have been the same to her.
    But I remember so much, the way her hands dismantled bread,
    the thing her father said that hurt her, what
    she dreamed. There are moments when the body is as numinous
    as words, days that are the good flesh continuing.
    Such tenderness, those afternoons and evenings,
    saying blackberry, blackberry, blackberry.

And besides, what other blog do you read will tell you that "numinous" means "filled with a sense of divinity"? Literature is nothing if not educational.

Reading, Not Speaking

I was under the weather Monday (I've lost most of my voice and, if it didn't hurt, would have a great time singing "Falling in Love Again" like Marlene Dietrich) and spent a day at home. I thought I would knit all day, but I ended up reading most of (my dad's copy of) Desert Solitaire again. And then I wondered why I even try to write things myself. (Then I tied it in to my love of Roehtke poems, and then I drank some Sprite.)

I go on. The coulds have disappeared, the sun is still beyond the rim...I walk through light reflected and re-reflected from the walls and floor of the canyon, a radiant golden light that glows on rock and stream, sand and leaf in varied hues of amber, honey, whiskey--the light that never was is here, now, in the storm-sculptured gorge of the Escalante.

...Each time I look up I one of the secretive little side canyons I half expect to see not only the cottonwood tree, rising over its tiny spring--the leafy god, the deser's liquid eye--but also a rainbow-colored corona of blazing light, pure spirit, pure being, pure disembodied intelligence, about to speak my name.

The last paragraph there made me think of bits and pieces from Roethke:
"I know the back-stream's joy, and the stone's eternal pulseless longing;" or what I quoted last week:
"I live in air; the long light is my home; I dare caress the stones"
and I suddenly realized I like Roethke so much because so much of his work reminds me of the desert.

I'm Buying Her A Toaster

My friend Amber is getting married tomorrow, and while we are mercifully out of the era when I would weep because her husband is "taking her away," I thought I would reminisce a little here.

So Amber, consider this my toast, because I may be too tipsy to make a real one tomorrow.

First, I am so glad you are marrying a man who understands how important it is to always have bacon in the house. You deserve nothing less.

Second, let me thank you for nearly twenty years of friendship, in which you didn't make fun of my hair, even when it was bad; helped me realize I wanted to be a writer; made a sock monkey with me; shopped with me; got me freelance jobs; wrote me letters and letters when I was away at music camp; introduced me to the band Cake; got me a real writing job; got me a FABULOUS real writing job; and so much more. You're smart, a smart ass, fiercely loyal and loving, and never, never sentimental.

So if I cry tomorrow, laugh at me. I would expect nothing less.

Best wishes for a lifetime of bacon and happiness!

"The Grandeur Of A Crazy One Alone"

There's a saying in my family: "Crazy as a rat in a can." I think someone's worried that I really do read things to the houseplants, judging from yesterday's comment about "the rat getting closer to the can". And while I believe houseplants thrive from lots of attention, which may or may not include some verbalization, that is not the point here.

The point is that, much to my own surprise, I enjoy living alone. And I have some Roethke to quote about it! (From "Her Becoming," in Words to the Wind, 1958.)

Ask all the mice who caper in the straw -
I am benign in my own company.
A shape without a shade, or almost none,
I hum in pure vibration, like a saw.
The grandeur of a crazy one alone! -
By swoops of bird, by leaps of fish I live.
My shadow steadies in a shifting stream;
I live in air; the long light is my home;
I dare caress the stones, the field my friend;
A light wind rises: I become the wind.

This has probably only confirmed my craziness to the anonymous relative (Alan!), but "I am benign in my own company" captures pretty exactly how I feel.

What Not To Think Of While Eating Salmon:

Elizabeth Bishop's poem, "The Fish."

I caught a tremendous fish
and held him beside the boat
half out of water, with my hook
fast in a corner of his mouth.
He didn't fight.
He hadn't fought at all.
He hung a grunting weight,
battered and venerable
and homely.  Here and there
his brown skin hung in strips
like ancient wallpaper,
and its pattern of darker brown
was like wallpaper:
shapes like full-blown roses
stained and lost through age.
He was speckled with barnacles,
fine rosettes of lime,
and infested
with tiny white sea-lice,
and underneath two or three
rags of green weed hung down.
While his gills were breathing in
the terrible oxygen
--the frightening gills,
fresh and crisp with blood,
that can cut so badly--
I thought of the coarse white flesh
packed in like feathers,
the big bones and the little bones,
the dramatic reds and blacks
of his shiny entrails,
and the pink swim-bladder
like a big peony.
I looked into his eyes
which were far larger than mine
but shallower, and yellowed,
the irises backed and packed
with tarnished tinfoil
seen through the lenses
of old scratched isinglass.
They shifted a little, but not
to return my stare.
--It was more like the tipping
of an object toward the light.
I admired his sullen face,
the mechanism of his jaw,
and then I saw
that from his lower lip
--if you could call it a lip
grim, wet, and weaponlike,
hung five old pieces of fish-line,
or four and a wire leader
with the swivel still attached,
with all their five big hooks
grown firmly in his mouth.
A green line, frayed at the end
where he broke it, two heavier lines,
and a fine black thread
still crimped from the strain and snap
when it broke and he got away.
Like medals with their ribbons
frayed and wavering,
a five-haired beard of wisdom
trailing from his aching jaw.
I stared and stared
and victory filled up
the little rented boat,
from the pool of bilge
where oil had spread a rainbow
around the rusted engine
to the bailer rusted orange,
the sun-cracked thwarts,
the oarlocks on their strings,
the gunnels--until everything
was rainbow, rainbow, rainbow!
And I let the fish go.

Just a regular Tuesday night at Chez Let's Doubt Our Food Choices and Then Read Poems to the Houseplants.

Just Don't Call It "Little House On The Prairie"

Once, at a party, I remember telling a gentleman I had met about my hobbies. He responded with, "You make your own clothes? That's just so...Little House on the Prairie." I found someone else to talk to.

Because would Laura, as much as I love her (all seven books are on my shelf right now), ever make something like this?
(Okay, the blurry shot ruins the dramatic effect a little. Sorry. My batteries died during the shoot.)

Anyway, it's a Nehru-ish tunic made with Japanese indigo dyed cotton:


And we have some pickstitch detailing--done by hand:
(Done by that enormous and blurry hand, in fact.)

And, Party Dude, I know for a fact Laura Ingalls would not be drinking sherry by a bunch of grape hyacinths while she did her hand finishing.

So call my hobbies what you will (resourceful, frivoulous, sublimation). Just don't call them Little House on the Prairie. Especially when you mean the TV show.

Remember This?

The Friday Post of Unrelated Information made me remember Cute Kitten Picture Monday, aka I Forgot to Load My Own Pictures For a Clever Post About the Weekend Monday.

This kitten was hon-gry, which makes him even CUTER.

Random Friday Post

Remember when I used to do Friday Posts of Unrelated Information? I gave that up when I realized it was ALL unrelated information, ALL THE TIME. But today is Good Friday, of course, so I paid more attention to the fact that it's Friday, and I have some good unrelated links. So it's back.

Wednesday's list got me on a Bob Dylan kick, and I had to think of the opening of "Just Like Tom Thumbs Blues":
When you're lost in the rain in Juarez
And it's Eastertime too
And your gravity fails
And negativity don't pull you through
Don't put on any airs
When you're down on Rue Morgue Avenue
They got some hungry women there
And they really make a mess outa you

Now, what does this mean? I never can tell (I think you might have to be stoned) but I like it. And did you know you can look up lyrics to all his songs on bobdylan.com? Hours of fun.

Here's a website called the Daily Bunny. Guess what you'll find there! Just guess!

And finally, I watched Easter Parade last night, which once again confirmed my desire to marry Fred Astaire. Also: Irving Berlin would be a good band name.

Imagine My Surprise

(I'm afraid you will have to imagine it, literally, because I have no picture.) But I was locking the door this morning, late for work, coffeeless, wondering if I could figure out a way to do my editing outside today, when I looked at my front yard and saw six quail.

They were running to the beds I hadn't weeded yet (maybe that's a good excuse not to weed?) and I thought they were running from me, until I looked up and saw a hawk.

I live across the street from a busy hospital that gets a lot of traffic, both vehicular and helicopter-ular. But there was Nature! In my front yard! I can't wait until a family of raccoons moves in.















This is not the quail I saw this morning, but it does illustrate the little feather thing on top of their heads.

Bob Dylan Lyrics or Japanese Translations?

Yep, I love the McSweeney's lists.

L Y R I C S F R O M
B O B D Y L A N T U N E S
O R P O O R L Y T R A N S L A T E D
E N G L I S H O N
J A P A N E S E F O O D P A C K A G I N G .



BY KIM McCANN

- - - -

1. It's burned to a crisp with all our heart!
2. I see you've got your brand-new leopard skin pillbox hat!
3. Anytime, anywhere, just like your friend.
4. We're going all the way until the wheels fall off and burn.
5. You might like to drink wiskey! Might like to drink milk! You might like to eat caviar!
6. The sentimental taste is cozy for the heroines in the town.
7. My mind was relaxed by attaching importance to the tradition.
8. You've got all the love, honeybaby, I can stand!
9. Teeth like pearls, shining like the moon above.
10. Relieve the relief and listen to the angel's whisper.
11. There is a house in New Orleans they call the rising sun.
12. If dishes are nice, the square ceiling becomes round.

KEY:

1. Batard bread
2. from "Leopard Skin Pillbox Hat"
3. No-Brand Orange Punch
4. from "Brownsville Girl"
5. from "Gotta Serve Somebody"
6. Koedastick chocolate candy
7. Izumiya Confectionary Company
8. from "Buckets of Rain"
9. from "Brownsville Girl"
10. Angel Relief chocolate and bisquit cookies
11. from "House of the Rising Sun"
12. a fondue pot box

5 Reasons I Love Orson Welles

1. Citizen Kane (I had never seen it before last night! Imagine where this post is going!)
2. He allegedly dated Billie Holiday
3. The War of the Worlds
4. He was the voice of the Shadow (I had no idea!)
5. Don’t laugh at me, but he was mighty handsome
(Think young Brando. Not old Brando. You can never think of the old version of hot genius actors.) (Peter O’Toole is an exception to that rule.)

And a bonus reason:
6. He wanted to make Heart Of Darkness as his first movie

I knew a little about William Randolph Hearst, thanks to my old roommate’s tutelage and love of San Simeon (he visited it as a boy, and credits it for wanting to be a sculptor). And of course I had read The Fountainhead, whose Gail Wyand character is also based on Hearst. But Citizen Kane and the Citizen Kane documentary last night made me feel like I did when I was maybe eight and had just figured out the allegory in The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe and wanted to make sure everyone knew about it. (I remember telling my mom that, and her saying—so seriously, which is one of the many reasons she is such an excellent mother—“I think people already know.”)

In other words, I'm sure people already know much more than I know about the connections between Citizen Kane, The Fouintainhead, and William Hearst. But I want to find out more about Hearst, and about when exactly Rand was writing The Fountainhead (it was published in 1943) and if she saw Citizen Kane first (premiered in 1941) and yeah. Learning! Books! Cinema! And did I mention I was knitting on a new grey alpaca sweater during all of this?

A Good Weekend

Not only did I sleep a lot, I got two sewing projects crossed off the list.

First, I trimmed some pillowcases for my bed:
Mmm, sleeping....


And then I sewed a top to wear, part 1 of The Great DIY Spring Wardrobe Makeover of 2007:
Should I be concerned my blouse matches my wall?



I bought both fabrics in Hawaii. I saw them and I said, "Well, hello, big orange Asian-inspired fabrics!"
They said hello back. And the rest is now craft history.

My Apartment Is Conveniently Close To LDS Hospital

Remember when I quoted poems and talked about books? Here's a poem that flashed through my mind last night. Actually, it was just the first line of the poem that flashed, since I've always had trouble really understanding this one. But I come closer every time I read it--I think yesterday I finally got a grasp on
"A man goes far to find out what he is--
Death of the self in a long, tearless night,
All natural shapes blazing unnatural light."

Anyway, here it is: "In A Dark Time," by Theodore Roethke, who might be elevated to imaginary boyfriend status because I love his poems so much.

In a Dark Time

In a dark time, the eye begins to see,
I meet my shadow in the deepening shade;
I hear my echo in the echoing wood--
A lord of nature weeping to a tree,
I live between the heron and the wren,
Beasts of the hill and serpents of the den.

What's madness but nobility of soul
At odds with circumstance? The day's on fire!
I know the purity of pure despair,
My shadow pinned against a sweating wall,
That place among the rocks--is it a cave,
Or winding path? The edge is what I have.

A steady storm of correspondences!
A night flowing with birds, a ragged moon,
And in broad day the midnight come again!
A man goes far to find out what he is--
Death of the self in a long, tearless night,
All natural shapes blazing unnatural light.

Dark,dark my light, and darker my desire.
My soul, like some heat-maddened summer fly,
Keeps buzzing at the sill. Which I is I?
A fallen man, I climb out of my fear.
The mind enters itself, and God the mind,
And one is One, free in the tearing wind.

This Is Not In My Apartment

Because I'm not THAT weird. Yet.


(Weirdness courtesy of Cute Overload).

The Apartment, Part 2: The Kitchen

I thought I'd share more pictures--because it makes perfect sense to post photos of my home and closet to a web site that uses my first and last name as a URL!

This is what you would see if you were walking in the front door or sitting at the counter on the second barstool that I keep planning on buying.
Yes, we have some bananas...in our big orange colander. We also have a stray houseplant. It ususally doesn't live there but sneaked into the picture. I gave it a talking to.


This is looking into the corner where the sink is. That's why you can see a sink. And the houseplant again.
Notice the dishwasher? I hope those of you who have a dishwasher appreciate it. It is a magical box wherein dirty dishes emerge clean, in only 30 minutes on the "Light/China" cycle.

And here's the rest of that wall, including the door to the bathroom. As my brother said when he saw it, "You can almost shower in your kitchen!"

Bonus Post!

"Possible New Terms for the Old and Tired Term 'Brainstorming'". Enjoy.

The Apartment, Part 1: I Found My Camera

Look! In spite of the Riverdance rehearsals from 7:30-8:00 every morning, my apartment rocks!

I have a chair!
(This is actually the same Eames-like chair I read all my books in as a child, and that I got rocked in as a baby even earlier.)

I have SHELVES, which on the apartment furniture black market would be equivalent to having about twenty kilos of cocaine. Because these are CUSTOM BUILT. By my dad, who is a MASTER CRAFTSMAN. (Also retired! And available to hire for YOUR shelf-building needs! Email me!)

Notice the light blue fabric backing and artful arrangement of books by color. (That was me.)

This is where the internet is. So fast! And what's that? Another chair! (That's the knitting basket to the left.)

And...best of all....I have A FULL-SIZE OVEN.


AND I HAVE THIS CLOSET. This closet has its own light. I think I have to lie down now.

"Apparent Passions of My Upstairs Neighbors"

(From McSweeney's lists.)


Moving furniture

Rolling bowling balls off of tables

Keeping time to music by beating a staff

Picking up anvils, and then dropping them

Riverdance

My camera has disappeared into the depths of my new closet, so the plan of posting pictures of the weekend's progress on the apartment (bookshelves!)is not going to happen today. I know the camera's in the apartment because I took a picture of the shower curtain two weeks ago; I just don't know where I put it. I thought this list was evocative of apartment life, though--I'm just glad they get up when I do and not earlier.

Thursday Night At Chez Solo

It went a little something like this:

I came home and checked my email because now I have the internet in my own house. (There was nothing new since I checked it at work, oh, 30 minutes previously. But you never know!)
I ate Thai food for dinner.
I knitted a pattern repeat on the Fabulous New Spring But It May Actually Be Summer Before I Finish It Handbag while watching an episode from the first season of Northern Exposure.
I became irritated with Rob Morrow and decided to read in the hope of becoming sleepy.
I did not become sleepy.
I finished the book I had picked to read (Fugitive Pieces, one of the top ten books ever in my opinion, and yes Dad, I have your copy, but you don't re-read things anyway)
I decided to read my old journals instead.

Then my head exploded.

And tomorrow? If I still can't sleep, I might read poems to the houseplants.

The Vernal Equinox Means Spring, And Spring Means...

PEEPS!
(The internet was successfully installed at the new place this morning, Now we're cooking with gas!) (Well, actually the range is electric. But you get the idea.)

Back, Kind Of

I was si-ick (say it in a whiney voice) since Sunday morning and stayed home form work for two days and didn't even post anything.
BUT I had my parents to take care of me (yes, I lived alone for a WHOLE WEEK, thank you very much) so now I'm better. (Thanks, parents!) And tomorrow I will have the internet in my own home. So get ready for apartment pictures.

And in other news, it's the Vernal Equinox. You can learn all about the science part of it here or you can dismiss science and learn about the Druid/Christian part here.

Hours - Nay, Days - Of Fun

Six years of random lists, found here: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/

My favorites:
Words Never Used in the Titles of Remotely Good Films
Band Names Rejected by the Smashing Pumpkins
Prescription Drug or Metal Band?
HAL's Comments While Trapped on a Desert Island, and Your Name Is Dave
Other Places Jimmy Buffett Wasted Away

and, finally
Original Title Suggestions by J.D. Salinger's Publisher That Could Have Been Deleterious to the Success of His Magnum Opus

Mm-hm, Yes, I Concur

Also: Today I am wearing sandals. My feets are free! FREE, after a winter of shoes!

It's This, or a Vacation

I will have internet access at home in a week and a day and won't have to skulk around work and blog, but until then, I'm afraid there won't be much going on. (Although I promise LOTS of pictures of the new place when I'm back online.) But until then, prepare yourselves for unillustrated and random posts. Like today's: "Words" That People Must Stop Using.

Today's "Word" That People Must Stop Using is "thrift." Not when used as a decent and proper noun, but when used as a verb. It appears on all the pretentious craft blogs I've found, where stay-at-home moms make stuffed animals that they sell on Etsy, and have one or two young-ish children that they dress in vintage smocks, and on days when the kids are at art camp or something they get lattes and go "thrifting."

This is not an acceptable usage of an established word. Nor is it acceptable to describe something you purchased while shopping at a thrift store as "thrifted." It just isn't. It's juvenile and affected. Please, craft bloggers, stop this immediately.

(Don't get me started on people who use "impactful." At least the craft bloggers don't do that.)

Hey, An Anniversary

I'm afraid this will be the week of short posts, since I can't compose them at home ahead of time. (Well, not until the 22nd, when I get internet at the new apartment.) But I noticed it's been just over a year since I started posting. [Insert obligatory remark about how much has changed here.]

Also, is it warm enough to wear a muumuu yet?

Moved!

Oh yes, I am now moved in and very stiff. (Heavy things? I don't want to lift heavy things!) I love my new place and would love to share pictures, but someone was unrealistically hoping to pirate wireless internet in the new place, which is not the case. So I have no way of getting them uploaded at the moment, unless I want to go to the library and do it. (Which I might, by the end of the week--we'll see how this "living alone" will go.) But so far, so good.

Part IV: Muumuus

So I bought a muumuu on vacation but was so filled with delight while wearing it (it's flowy! it's bright! it has a pocket! and a flounce!) I didn't get a modeled shot. So here's a staged one:

When you wear a muumuu in Hawaii, you feel like putting a plumeria behind your ear. That's what I did with this one:

In fact, I loved my muumuu experience so much we found a Hawaiian fabric store and I bought both a pattern for another muumuu:

and the fabric:

Apparently, other people (well, coworkers) think it's strange to go to a fabric store on vacation. But what better souvenir to get? Because this summer I can put on one of my muumuus, sit on my porch, and remember this:

Part III: The Nene

What, you may ask, is a nene ("nay-nay")? A nene, my friends, is the Hawaiian goose, a distant relative of the Canadian goose, and the state bird of Hawaii.

Because it has the best name ever, the nene captured my heart on this vacation. Sadly, I didn't see one, but the signs about them were awesome. My favorite: A nene silhouette with the words "GO SLOW" beneath it. My second favorite: A sign proclaiming "A fed nene is a dead nene!" (I'm still mad I didn't get pictures.) I guess I'll just have to go back.

This is not a nene:

It's a rooster living in the parking lot of:

And what does Akaka Falls look like? Big and damp:

And remember--A FED NENE IS A DEAD NENE. Don't feed the nene.

Part II: Lava

Subtitled: And You Thought The Ocean Could Kill You.

So picture an approach to the shore in Volcano National Park, around sunset. Um, is that shoreline smoking?
Oh, I think it is. Don't breathe in the smoke!
In spite of MANY warnings from the Federal Government...

...we want to get closer to the lava. Where is the lava?


We do not view the 4-minute lava safety video.
On our way to get closer to the lava, we pass some old lava that had happened to just, you know, FLOW ACROSS THE ROAD. In 2005. I am amazed and point at it:

The adventure continued as we hiked across some old lava (avoiding the steam plume) and hunkered down with the lava rats (no, really) and let it get completely dark. Of course, my camera couldn't focus in the dark, so you'll have to imagine the best part: seeing the lava flowing down the hillside and entering the ocean. We were a mile away, more or less safely, and it was just incredible to think that new land was being formed right before our eyes. Because who else gets to see new land being formed? Pretty much only God.

Lava. I like it as much as I like the ocean.

Part I: The Ocean

I had never really spent any time by the ocean until this trip. And let me tell you, I like the ocean. It smells nice. It makes the horizon really big. It does cool things with waves. It's a pretty color:
However, while I like being by the ocean, I learned I am afraid of being in the ocean. It's big. There are waves. And if you're not a strong swimmer, the ocean can kill you:


And things live in the ocean! Sometimes really big things, because the ocean is big! Things like whales:

And sea turtles:

And twenty-year-olds from the Coast Guard! (Hello, boys!)

Yes, I like the ocean.

I'm Back

Oh, Hawai'i...land of vowels, feral cats, tropical drinks, signs about the nene...oh, how I miss you already.

There could be a book from this trip, but for the rest of the week I'll focus on the highlights: the ocean; lava; the nene; and muumuus.